The One About Double Standards


“You went to the other side of the city for a Tinder date? Well, that’s pretty desperate.

I wish I had told him to be fruitful and multiply (but not in those words) right that moment and I regret not doing so.

Instead I told him that what he said was very rude.

“Point of view.”

Of course it depends on someone’s point of view. And on the fact that I am a girl, as well.

Because if I were a guy, it would be perfectly fine for me to traverse an entire city/country/continent/the Atlantic ocean just to meet a girl. To go on a date with people I meet on Tinder. To have drinks with a girl I only met a couple nights before. To do the no pants dance; no strings attached.

But I’m still a girl, so that inevitably makes me desperate. Or easy. Or  a wild, promiscuous, good-time girl.

And this, my dear readers, is what I call double standards.


This incident also reminded me of a discussion I had with two male friends of mine – two terribly affable chaps, who unconsciously made a really sexistic comment. We were discussing dating, relationships, Tinder (all the fun stuff in life!*) when I asked them how long are men usually willing to wait for sex with a new person. I won’t tell you what their exact answer was since it is irrelevant here; instead I’d like to focus on the fact that they emphasized that men are generally eager to wait for a girl that they consider a serious romantic interest. At the same time, if a girl initiates or agrees to sex too promptly, then she won’t be taken seriously.

Kaboom, double standards strike again.

So, where does that leave us?

I’ll tell you what a (relatively new) friend of mine, C., told me when I confessed my concerns to her: “That’s BS. Do you still call this guy a friend of yours? You can travel the world to meet a guy and you still won’t count as desperate. Do what you want.”

Well, I refuse to let people double-standard me. And so should you. Don’t forget:



Perplexed (as always),


FacebookInstagram and tumblr, now you know where to find me.

*We also talk about friends, careers, books, food and theater, the other fun stuff in life. Sometimes.

Share Button

3 thoughts on “The One About Double Standards

  1. …I hate this type of double standards… they make me so mad. But what makes me even more mad is the fact that a lot of girls (unlike your friend) don’t think: yeah whatever, I do what I want anyway. Instead: They feel pressured to give the guy what he wants or play coy when it’s not really needed.
    But to comfort you, I also have to say: times are changing. A guy whoring around is not a big stud anymore. And some guys really are mad at themselves when they realise that this whole scenario of “not giving in too easily” is a double standard they helped to create or maintain.
    So maybe there is hope that someday we will all be equal.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *