Have you ever felt invincible? Like something is definitely not going to happen to you, you alone? Yes, no, maybe? Well, that’s the way I felt about the green-eyed monster, aka jealousy within a relationship. I always felt that it was well reserved for soap operas of Latin American origin and people with too much free time in their hands. The kind of time one needs to go through emails, instant messages and phone calls – it sounds super easy and time-sparing when you consider that our ancestors had to secretly open letters using steam, right? Thank God 19th is over. The kind of time one needs to have deprecating thoughts regarding inadequacy and consider all the cheating possibilities of its significant other. The kind of time one needs to make voodoo dolls for all of them and have huge, loud fights.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not there yet and I hope I’ll never end up there, but I’m starting to sense its disastrous power. That’s why I decided to dedicate this post to three possible ways to address the subject (oh, the magic power of the number three!):
1. Go bananas about it and do everything I mentioned above. It will be the most effective break-up way in the history of break-ups. I wonder if Kate Hudson tried it in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.
2. Go bananas about it and decide to make your significant other as jealous as you are. Do you remember what you did to get them when you first met them? Yes? Good. Now try everything on that list on someone else, preferably in front of them. This also consists an extremely effective way to end a relationship in zero time.
3. Go bananas about it … and then calm down and think rationally. Ask yourself, what am I gaining from this situation? Apart from the fact that it is tearing my self-esteem, happiness and most likely my relationship apart? When you look at it that way, you’re not going to miss out too much fun, if you stop being jealous (no place for FOMO here).
Easier said than done right? Recently I had a revelation and realized that there’s space for jealousy even in the most solid relationships. Even in the phenomenally strong and slightly indifferent men and women around me. No one’s invincible, but this doesn’t mean we have to succumb. So I couldn’t help but wonder… Does jealousy imply interest? Possessiveness? Imbalance within the relationship? But most importantly… what can we make out of it?