The One About Double Standards

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“You went to the other side of the city for a Tinder date? Well, that’s pretty desperate.

I wish I had told him to be fruitful and multiply (but not in those words) right that moment and I regret not doing so.

Instead I told him that what he said was very rude.

“Point of view.”

Of course it depends on someone’s point of view. And on the fact that I am a girl, as well.

Because if I were a guy, it would be perfectly fine for me to traverse an entire city/country/continent/the Atlantic ocean just to meet a girl. To go on a date with people I meet on Tinder. To have drinks with a girl I only met a couple nights before. To do the no pants dance; no strings attached.

But I’m still a girl, so that inevitably makes me desperate. Or easy. Or  a wild, promiscuous, good-time girl.

And this, my dear readers, is what I call double standards.

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This incident also reminded me of a discussion I had with two male friends of mine – two terribly affable chaps, who unconsciously made a really sexistic comment. We were discussing dating, relationships, Tinder (all the fun stuff in life!*) when I asked them how long are men usually willing to wait for sex with a new person. I won’t tell you what their exact answer was since it is irrelevant here; instead I’d like to focus on the fact that they emphasized that men are generally eager to wait for a girl that they consider a serious romantic interest. At the same time, if a girl initiates or agrees to sex too promptly, then she won’t be taken seriously.

Kaboom, double standards strike again.

So, where does that leave us?

I’ll tell you what a (relatively new) friend of mine, C., told me when I confessed my concerns to her: “That’s BS. Do you still call this guy a friend of yours? You can travel the world to meet a guy and you still won’t count as desperate. Do what you want.”

Well, I refuse to let people double-standard me. And so should you. Don’t forget:

 

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Perplexed (as always),

F.

FacebookInstagram and tumblr, now you know where to find me.

*We also talk about friends, careers, books, food and theater, the other fun stuff in life. Sometimes.

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3 Comments

  1. …I hate this type of double standards… they make me so mad. But what makes me even more mad is the fact that a lot of girls (unlike your friend) don’t think: yeah whatever, I do what I want anyway. Instead: They feel pressured to give the guy what he wants or play coy when it’s not really needed.
    But to comfort you, I also have to say: times are changing. A guy whoring around is not a big stud anymore. And some guys really are mad at themselves when they realise that this whole scenario of “not giving in too easily” is a double standard they helped to create or maintain.
    So maybe there is hope that someday we will all be equal.

  2. Finally reading this article! I am so happily surprised to see a quote of mine here 😀

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